BON TON IN OUR LIFE

Bon ton is the word a lot of people mention when they want to say they are better then others. But, the real purpose of bon ton is something completely different - it is supposed to make life easier to people

What is bon ton?

The majority of people designates bon ton as rules of decent behavior.

The essence of bon ton

Bon ton is made with the intention to ease the life of people in civilized community. The rules of bon ton in modern society are well different than old-time bon ton. Nevertheless the essence of bon ton remains the same - people have easier and nicer life when their society accept the rules of bon ton and act accordingly.

Basic principles of bon ton

1. As we told before, bon ton is not made to make someone's life harder but to ease the life of people. Not one bon ton rule exist to support your vanity in the society or to prove your friends that you are more "worthy" then themselves. An extremely simple example for this bon ton principle is the rule of trying to move along pavement on the right side; the essence of this is simply to lessen the collisions of people in the street.

2. The rules of bon ton give the advantage to the age of a person and if the persons are of similar age then the advantage is given to the females. For example a lot younger female person is supposed to greet the older gentleman that she knows, despite the fact that in principle a man should greet first the female person that he knows. The advantage to the age and sex is done in bon ton rules with the clear intention to make the life of people easier in the civilized community.

3. The rules of bon ton are so developed that a man exercise the protection and safety to the female person or a child in his presence. For example, while walking along street a female person in the presence of man should be further from the passing cars.

4. Bon ton suppress the little or big unpleasant situations that you would face in the every day life among the people with bad manners. For example to kiss the other people's children with which you are not closely related is rude; this bon ton rule is medically justified and also has the emotional bases, because a great number of parents feel unpleasant when the foreign person and especially the person of considerable age kisses their children, and the same can be said for the children themselves.

5. Bon ton respects the personal feelings of people. For example it is the great rudeness to number the intimate details of other people. The person with manners is deeply aware how he would feel to hear others making talk subjects of his private life that he considers classified.

6. The rules of bon ton supports the cleanness. For example if you are visiting a friend you must take of your shoes if you enter the children room or a bedroom.

7. The bon ton rules demand the neat appearance of a person.

8. Bon ton supposes that in dressing and appearance one does not go much further from the decent dressing of the season, day or the people with whom you are at the moment. The rules of decent dressing are probably among the hardest to understand but at the same time they are the most flexible, so by elastic exercise of these bon ton rules you obviously show your specific style more then with the other rules.

Is it necessary to be rich for "proper manners"?

Also to have a decent look it is necessary to have at least the minimum of life privileges in which you can for example be neat.

So the answer to the question in this paragraph would be: it is not necessary to be (very) rich to be decent.

Where can you learn bon ton?

The learning of bon ton starts at one's parents home. If you want to be acquainted with the bon ton go to the nearest bookstore - after some time you will have some of titles that deals with this subject. The reward for your effort will be the pleasure that you will feel in exercising of bon ton and giving people something usefull and noble, just as you would like them to offer you the same.

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